Estate planning often brings up difficult family questions. Sometimes it’s hypothetical, but many clients ask me: “Can I leave someone out of my will?”

The short answer is: “yes.” But like many things in estate planning, the real answer has a bit more nuance.

Beyond disinheritance, there are other common misconceptions about how you may leave your assets at death. One of the biggest myths about estate planning is that parents must divide everything equally among their children. That is not true. You may leave it in different percentages to not only your children, but to whomever you wish.

In Ohio, you have the ability to decide who receives your assets and who does not, all within certain legal limits.

Estate planning is about making your wishes clear, not following a one-size-fits-all formula. On occasion, clients ask us if we think their plan leaves things “fairly.” But every single family is different. Sometimes equal is fair, and sometimes fair is different than equal.

Disinheriting someone is not always simple or straightforward. Many people assume they can simply write: “I leave nothing to my son.” While that is good to include, and may express an intention, good planning usually requires more thought.

It’s important to understand why someone is disinheriting a child, and make sure the estate plan actually addresses the concern. Is the disinherited son estranged? Does he have special needs and cannot inherit directly? Or has he struggled with addiction, financial problems, history of mismanaging money, creditor issues or something else? Properly drafted trusts can help deal with the son’s inheritance, if disinheritance isn’t truly the goal. The important thing is making sure the estate plan actually addresses the concern.

What about disinheriting a spouse? This is where people sometimes get surprised. A spouse has different legal protections than a child or other beneficiary. In Ohio, a surviving spouse may have rights in probate court that cannot simply be eliminated by leaving them out of a will. The law provides certain protections for spouses, and those rights need to be considered carefully when creating a plan. Is a trust a better option?

Above all, the goal is not to punish – it’s to plan. It’s not about judging family members, but rather, recognizing reality. Every family has unique circumstances. A good plan acknowledges those circumstances and creates the best path forward. Because the worst time to discover a family disagreement is after someone is gone.